GIRLS, GUNS and G-STRINGS: THE ANDY SIDARIS COLLECTION

GIRLS, GUNS and G-STRINGS: THE ANDY SIDARIS COLLECTION ( MILL CREEK ENTERTAINMENT ) contains 12 movies on three double sided discs. All the movies are from MALIBU BAY FILMS.

This set also contains numerous extras... NOTE: these are hidden ( EASTER EGG style )... You must do the following to access them....

Go to the SCENE SELECT MENU. Then use the UP ARROW - or LEFT ARROW - on your dvd palyer remote to highlight the babe's RIGHT or LEFT leg. Each leg has a different surprise ( that's what she said... ha-ha-ha-ha... ).


DISC 1 - SIDE A....
MALIBU EXPRESS
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes, a shitload of mayhem ensues
Nudity - What do you think?!... OF COURSE there's nudity!
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro with Andy Sidaris, Julie Strain and John Brown.

HARD TICKET TO HAWAII
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes
Nudity - Yes, lots of boobs and buns
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Short interview with Dona Speir.

DISC 1 - SIDE B....
SAVAGE BEACH
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes
Nudity - Yes, tons of fresh melons
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - MTV interviews Andy and Arlene.

PICASSO TRIGGER
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes
Nudity - Hooters galore
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro by Andy and Julie Strain.

DISC 2 - SIDE A....
GUNS
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes
Nudity - Yes, their knockers will knock you out
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro by Andy and Julie Strain.

DO OR DIE
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - No, there's none at all... of course there's violence... come on folks!
Nudity - Yes, big bouncy bare breasted bimbos as far as the eye can see...
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro by Andy and Julie.

DISC 2 - SIDE B....
HARD HUNTED
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes
Nudity - Yes, there's plenty of maracas shaking all over the place
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro by Mr. Sidaris, two cheerleaders, Julie Strain and her world famous implants.

FIT TO KILL
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Yes, some of the folks in this movie have anger issues...
Nudity - Yes, lots of big jugs
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Short nterview with Andy Sidaris and Cynthia Brimhall.

DISC 3 - SIDE A....
ENEMY GOLD
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Guess what?... yes, there's violence
Nudity - Tits and ass, tits and ass, tits and ass
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Interview with Suzi Simpson, with appearances by Julie Strain, her talents, Andy and Arlene Sidaris.

DALLAS CONNECTION
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - Gee... I'm not sure...
Nudity - Yes, there are skin mountains everywhere
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Short interview with Andy and renown thespian Julie K. Smith.

DISC 3 - SIDE B....
DAY OF THE WARRIOR
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - For crying out loud, yes, people hurt each other...
Nudity - Yes, boobs and buns for all to enjoy...
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Intro by Andy, Julie Strain.

RETURN TO SAVAGE BEACH
FULLscreen
Color
Rated R
Video quality - Good
Audio quality - Good
Violence - For the last time, yes...
Nudity - Yes, cushy flesh pillows everywhere
Extra 1 - A trailer
Extra 2 - Short segment with Andy Sidaris and Julie K. Smith.

VIDEO INFO:
DVD
FULLscreen
Color
Region one
Company - Mill Creek Entertainment
Rated R
Extras - Yes... trailers, intros and interviews
Inserts - None

OBTAINED AT - CD Universe

PRICE - $6.34

DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
HELL NO!... This is a fucking incredible bargain!... I highly recommend you buy a copy.

I'm NOT a breast-man, but if you are, then you'll be VERY happy with this movie collection.

This is another great 12 movie pack by MILL CREEK ENTERTAINMENT.

If you complain about paying ten dollars or less for this box set, then you are an absolute idiot, and you need help!... ha-ha-ha-ha....

SECRETARY

DIRECTOR:
Steven Shainberg

WRITERS:
Erin Cressida Wilson
Mary Gaitskill
Steven Shainberg

CAST:
James Spader
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Jeremy Davies
Lesley Ann Warren
Stephen McHattie
Patrick Bauchau
Jessica Tuck
Oz Perkins
Amy Locane
Mary Joy
And many others...


Lee holloway ( Maggie Gyllenhaal )


Edward Grey ( James Spader )


Joan Holloway ( Lesley Ann Warren )


Burt Holloway ( Stephen McHattie )


Peter ( Jeremy Davies )

Lee's father is an alcoholic, and her mother and father spend more time fighting than anything else.

Lee's snobbish sister is living in the guest house with her new husband.

Lee's boyfriend and husband-to-be is an underachieving outcast with his own mental problems.

These are the things she has to look forward too, when she is released from the nut-house. She was in there for an alleged suicide attempt.

She is little-red-riding-hood, and her family is the big-bad-wolf.

Lee hurts herself everytime the pain of her family life becomes too much for her to handle. It's relief for her. Like when a tea kettle releases steam.

Lee is unskilled and unemployed. So she takes a typing course. After graduating, she applies for a job at Edward's office. The interview is strange, but not as strange as everything that follows.

Edward is just as screwed up as Lee. He's like two different people. He's aggressive when he's doing his job, but a coward in his personal life.

Almost immediately, they start a bizarre, but painfully joyful, relationship.

Will Lee slay the wolf, and live painfully happy ever after?...



QUOTES:
Edward: "There's something about you..."

Edward: "Why do you cut yourself Lee?"

Lee: "Oooooh... I'm your secretary..."

Edward: "Pull down your pantyhose and underwear"

Lee: "Every journey begins with the first step"

Lee: "There was the one who liked being tied to a gas stove, while the burners were on full blast, and I had to throw tomatoes at him"

Edward: "We can't do this twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week"

Sylvia: "There are no statutes capable of controlling the relations between men and women"

Tricia: "The worm... amazing..."







VIDEO INFO
DVD
WIDEscreen
Color
Region one
Company - Lionsgate
Rated - R
Extra #1 - Trailer for Secretary
Extra #2 - Commentary with the writer and director
Extra #3 - Behind the secretary featurette
Extra #4 - Still gallery
Inserts - None





OBTAINED AT - MovieStop

PRICE - $5.99





DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
NO!... Love truly does hurt, especially when Lee and Edward get together.

In my opinion, neither of these folks seemed to like themselves. However, by the end of the movie, they not only love each other, they also end up loving themselves.

James Spader is of course, incredible. He is one of best actors in the history of Hollywood. I love watching him play odd-ball characters. Maggie Gyllenhaal also kicks cinematic-ass.

I really love this movie. It's one of my favorite relationship themed flicks ever. I highly recommend it, especially if you hate romantic comedies - aka torture porn - as much as I do.... ;)

TWO MOON JUNCTION

DIRECTOR:
Zalman King

WRITERS:
Zalman King
MacGregor Douglas

CAST:
Sherilyn Fenn
Richard Tyson
Louise Fletcher
Burl Ives
Kristy McNichol
Milla Jovovich
Martin Hewitt
Hervé Villechaize
Jake ( Tom the dog )
Unknown ( Max the puppy )
And many others...


April ( Sherilyn Fenn ) is Chad's bride-to-be. She loves sharpening Perry's pencil.


Perry ( Richard Tyson ) is a carnival worker, truck driver, and sex-machine. He's got it bad for April.


Chad ( Martin Hewitt ) is April's soon-to-be hubby and spoiled douche-bag.


Patti-Jean ( Kristy McNichol ) is Perry's bed-buddy. She seems to like beef AND fish ( think about it folks ).


Belle ( Louise Fletcher ) is April's grandmother. She's hot for Sheriff Hawkin's pistol.


Sheriff Earl Hawkins ( Burl Ives ) is the town's moral compass, and Belle's unofficial boyfriend.


Smiley ( Hervé Villechaize ) is the carnival owner. He's also a greedy-merciless-munchkin.

April is supposed to tie-the-knot to a guy named Chad. Does she love the shmuck?... Well, if she does, she's got a funny way of showing it!

Do NOT feel bad for Chad, because he's filthy rich and totally useless.

One day, a traveling carnival comes to April's town.

While at the carnival, she meets Perry and everything changes.

April constantly yells insults at him, and yet, she can't seem to stop fucking him. In fact, everytime Perry gives April an orgasm, she cries. Why?.. It must be guilt. Her heart belongs to Chad, but the rest of her belongs to Perry.

Perry's dog, Tom, is shot to death by one of his carnival co-workers. So he abandons the carnie lifestyle.

Meanwhile, Belle and Sheriff Hawkins try to eliminate Perry for good.

Will April marry Chad?

Will Earl and Belle's malevolent plan succeed?

Will April ever stop crying after each orgasm?

One thing is for certain, April's bush is on fire, and only Perry's hose can extinguish the blaze...



QUOTES:
Perry: "April?.. I've known a may and a June, but never an April"

Chad: "You drive me crazy. You do. I'm never sure about you. I never know what you want"

Perry: "Naked... bare ass naked"

April: "You're the cockiest son of a bitch I've ever met in my life"

Patti-Jean: "Fuck you dick-head!"

Patti-Jean: "I bet you got great tits"

Patti-Jean: "It's at moments like this, I can see why guys like women so much"

Patti-Jean: "I don't know where I'm going, but I can't wait to get there"

April: "You hallow manipulative piece of shit!.. Everything you are is between your legs"

April: "Darling.. don't ever take a southern woman for granted"

Belle: "We here in the south, take care of our own. Always have, always will"

Perry: "I said to myself, if she comes here and she's wearing high-heeled shoes, then she's here because she wanted to come"

Perry: "How come you ain't wearing any panties, April, darling?"

Belle: "Passion fades. Believe me, I know"


"Put some tongue in it!"

VIDEO INFO
DVD
FULLscreen
Color
Region one
Company - SONY
Rated - R
Extras - None... not even a trailer!.. the back of the DVD case lists "production notes", but there's none!
Inserts - None





OBTAINED AT - CD Universe

PRICE - $7.39



DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
HELL NO!... This flick is legendary, and I love every cheesy moment!...

In my opinion, blonde hair does not flatter Ms. Fenn.

I want to mention that Perry drives a cool looking vintage Kenworth conventional.

There are two versions of this DVD. One contains both, WIDEscreen and FULLscreen versions of the film. The other only has the FULLscreen version.

Also, the music has been changed on the version I have.

Yes, the FULLscreen version lets you see a little more of Ms. Fenn. However, you can also see more of Richard Tyson. When April dismounts Perry ( Richard Tyson ), "little Richard" makes an appearance. Warning... "little Richard" appears to be extremely happy... Yuck!... ENOUGH SAID!...

FYI: There was some controversy surrounding this movie. To this day, I don't know if it was real, or manufactured controversy.

AEROBICISE

DIRECTOR:
Ron Harris

WRITER:
Ron Harris

CAST:
Loryanna Catalano
Deborah Corday
Tina Rocca
Tamarah Park
Darcy DeMoss
And many other goddesses



Aah... the 1980s... Back then, renting movies was actually fun.

Cable channels, public access, satellite dishs and MTV were still young...



Anyway, when I was young, a man named Ron Harris came out with an exercise program that became legendary.

AEROBICISE was - and still is - beautiful and incredibly sexy! It's simple yet brilliant.

They used creative camera angles and great instrumental music.



The women are goddesses. NO breast or butt implants within sight. They were THE REAL DEAL... NO artificial flavors or fillers!



The program - and video tapes - appealed, NOT just to horny pre-teen boys, but to countless horny men of all ages. Plus, TONS of women, who actually worked out to these videos.

AEROBICISE has NOT dated one bit, and it actually seems to be even more popular now than when it was new ( thanks to the internet? ).

A ton of folks tried to copy Mr. Harris's formula and style, but they NEVER did a better job than he did. The original is still the BEST!... AEROBICISE really is a work of art.

If I remember correctly, a lot of celebrities jumped on the exercise video bandwagon. Unfortunately for them, all of those videos were an absolute joke.

This program aired on SHOWTIME, long before the cable channel became popular.

According to the official AEROBICISE website, PARAMOUNT HOME VIDEO released AEROBICISE on VHS, LASERDISC and DVD.

I've never seen the DVD in brick-n-mortar stores. I've also never seen it for sale at any of my favorite online stores. So good luck trying to find one.



QUOTES:
Narrator: "Up and down, up and down, up and down"

Narrator: "Legs up, legs up, legs up"

Narrator: "This can be done by yourself, or with someone else"



VIDEO INFO
Online
FULLscreen
Color
Region - Not applicable
Company - Paramount
Rated - Not applicable
Extras - Not applicable
Inserts - Not applicable



OBTAINED AT - YouTube

PRICE - Free



DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
NO!... oh the memories... selected segments of varying quality can be watched at YouTube and also at the official AEROBICISE website.

FYI: Mr. Harris also made a show called :20 MINUTE WORKOUT.

THE SKINVESTIGATOR: TRAMP STAMP and the UCF BOOK FESTIVAL

Doctor Poe is a dermatologist that gets mixed up with murder. I can't wait to dive into this book.



Terry Cronin and STUDENTS OF THE UNUSAL are true originals.



BOOK INFO:
ISBN ( 978-0974926681 )
AUTHOR - Terry Cronin
COVER ARTIST - Luis Diaz
COMPANY - 3 Boys Productions
OBTAINED AT - UCF Book Festival
PRICE - $5.99
SOFTcover
SIZE - approximately 4" wide by 6.5" tall
PAGES - 173





DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
NO!... I got my copy from Mr. Cronin at the UCF BOOK FESTIVAL.

FYI: This book is part of a trilogy, and it's also available with a photo cover ( by Steven Shea ).



The UCF BOOK FESTIVAL was free... That was the reason I went, ha-ha-ha-ha... This was it's second year and my first time attending. I thought they did a great job.

Schoolastic had a booth at this event. If you attended public schools in the United States, then you're familiar with that name. As a kid, I always looked forward to my teacher passing out the Schoolastic book flyer / order form.

It seemed as if half the event was devoted to children's books, and that bothered me.

I'm used to book festivals in Chicago, New York and Los Angeles, so maybe my expectations were unrealistic ( especially for a free event ).

There were plenty of authors on hand and their books were available for purchase.

CHEERLEADER CAMP POSTER

How can anybody NOT love the art on this poster?!... The poster for CHEERLEADER CAMP is pure camp!... get it?... ha-ha?...

Is the poster better than the movie?... Well, that's for each of you to decide.

This movie was released on VHS by PRISM ENTERTAINMENT.

It's also available on region one DVD by ANCHOR BAY.