Thursday, August 29, 2013


Once upon a time, I had a website called ARCTUD ( Andy Richter Controls the Universe Dictionary ). That website disappeared a long time ago, but I still love this show.

Andy fantasizes while at work, and gets into trouble with his co-workers ( they're also his friends ).

These characters don't always behave as you'd expect.

ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE was filled with dark, and human nature inspired humor ( and NO laugh track ).

This show was intelligently written, and unique.

It was written by..... Victor Fresco, Michael A. Ross, Jim Bernstein, Jennifer Celotta, and Tommy Blacha

It was directed by..... Andy Ackerman and John Fortenberry

It starred ( clockwise )..... Andy Richter as Andy, Paget Brewster as Jessica, Irene Molloy as Wendy, Jonathan Slavin as Byron, James Patrick Stuart as Keith, and John Bliss ( 1930 – 2008 ) as Mr. Pickering

Plus, Sean Gunn as Phil, Charlie Finn as Teak, And others..... Many familiar faces appeared as guest stars.

Conan O'Brien in the episode CRAZY IN RIO - "Behold my radiance!"

Molly Sims and Jonathan Slavin - "This fertile valley with succulent peaches and melons for all to enjoy" - SCREENGRABS and QUOTE from the episode HOLY SHEEP

Andy Richter, Paget Brewster, Irene Molloy, Jonathan Slavin, James Patrick Stuart, and Conan O'Brien - "There's going to be a duct tape wedding, cover your genitalia and run! - "SCREENGRAB and QUOTE from the episode CRAZY IN RIO

Everyone involved with this show did a kick-ass job.

Jonathan Slavin is a genuinely funny man. He makes you feel empathy for his character.

The adorable Irene Molloy, really brought Wendy to life.

Irene Molloy also writes and sings - she has a magical voice.

If I remember correctly, you could purchase her music cd's directly from her ( and downloads also ). I do NOT know if she's still doing that, or if she still has an official website ( I haven't been able to find one ).

My favorite Irene Molloy song is called CUT AND DRY ( acoustic version - her voice sounds positively angelic on that song ).

I found some of her songs on a website called SOUNDCLOUD... see text link below.....


FYI: Ms. Molloy and Mr. Slavin are far too nice to be working in showbiz.


Wendy - "Harassment has the word ass right in the middle of it. It's like the guys who made it up were trying to give you a clue" - FROM THE EPISODE "Relationship Ripcord"

Byron - "I'm not really comfortable being a hero or a coward, so war is a no win for me" - FROM THE EPISODE "Second Episode"

Jessica - "I have so much dung down my pants, I could grow daisies out my ass" - FROM THE EPISODE "Gimme a C"

Andy - "I'm as straight as a broadway kick line" - FROM THE EPISODE "Wedding"

Byron - "Public displays of affection... I hate that, because I'm always the public" - FROM THE EPISODE "The Show Might Go On"

TIDBITS that were sent to me a long time ago, by an ANONYMOUS SOURCE
"All principal cast members are actually very gentle friendly people"
"Andy is not shy and quite bright - boisterous by nature"
"Paget is the most boisterous, a charmer extrordanaire"
"Jonathan is Vegetarian animal lover activist as stable as his character is wacky"
"Irene is quieter but not reserved, as natural a beauty as she appears onscreen, although she is unaware and unfazed by same, and an exceptional good sport well beyond the norm"
"James is much more handsome in person than he appears on screen, totally in love with his wife, and amazingly easygoing. Trivia: His father is Chad Stuart from the Top popular 60's Duo, "Chad & Jeremy"

After what seemed like an eternity, PARAMOUNT finally released a region one DVD of all filmed episodes. However, some of the music was replaced. I'm assuming music, is what held up the release.

NOTE: I do NOT own the DVD, so I can't give you any details about it.


A very cool looking poster.

I'd love to find a press book for this movie.

Rae Sperling, Diane Thomas, and others, star in this movie ( with appearances by Dick Miller, and Thelma Houston ).

It was released on VHS by SUPER VIDEO.

A company called VINEGAR SYNDROME will be releasing a LEGIT region one DVD.

This movie is also known as TEENAGE MODELS USA, and THE HOLLYWOOD DREAM.

Monday, August 26, 2013


Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson ( GILMORE GIRLS )

Lauren Graham ( PRINCETON REVIEW's student admissions television )

Not many folks are genuinely gifted at both drama and comedy, but Lauren Graham definitely is.

I don't think Ms. Graham has ever received the credit she deserves, and I don't think she ever will.

I've said it before, and I'm going to say it again, most award shows are odes to nepotism, mediocrity, and ass-kissing.

She's got more talent and creativity in one fingertip than half the folks in Hollywood combined.

Lauren Graham in PARENTHOOD

Cover for Lauren Graham's first novel

Ms. Graham also writes. Her first novel is called SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY, MAYBE. It's published by BALLANTINE BOOKS - ISBN ( 978-0345532749 ).

If you've ever seen her appearances on the talk shows hosted by Craig Ferguson, Conan O'Brien, and Jimmy Fallon, then you know what an incredible personality this woman has. She seems extremely witty. She also has an overwhelmingly endearing quality.

Craig Ferguson groping Lauren's boot... and who can blame him?

Lauren Graham and Jimmy Fallon singing "BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH"...

Lauren Graham in a early 90's tv commercial for CASCADE ( left ), and from one of her NEWSRADIO episodes ( right ).

"Fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!, fuck me santa!"

The above quote is from BAD SANTA. Those beautiful words are heard during a TENDER and HEARTWARMING LOVE SCENE between Lauren Graham's character and Billy Bob Thornton's character.

I'm not crazy about BAD SANTA, but I don't hate it either.

I remember hating all the media hype surrounding Bernie Mac. Running from two erupting volcanos, while being stabbed in one eye, and forced to watch Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump engage in kinky sex, would be far more pleasant than watching him do his shtick.

My favorite thing about the movie? What do you think?... A certain leggy brunette.

"Tom, I'm lovin' ya like a two dollar whore..." QUOTE from GILMORE GIRLS ( season 4 )

Most folks seem to know Ms. Graham from a television show called GILMORE GIRLS.

Lauren portrayed Lorelai Gilmore , and Alexis Bledel played Rory, her teenage daughter.

Lorelai ran away from home when she was a pregnant teenager.

Her parents LOVED and SUPPORTED her. I repeat, Lorelai was NOT abused mentally or physically. Her parents did NOT shun her. They loved her.... And yet, she proceeded to act selfishly, and thoughtlessly. Her actions devastated her parents ( played by Kelly Bishop and Edward Herrmann ).

Lorelai still harbors a lot of unwarranted anger towards her parents, and her mother reciprocates some of those feelings.

When GILMORE GIRLS was new, I remember reading some very negative criticisms about it. I could always tell who really watched the show, and who was just BLOWING SMOKE UP PEOPLE'S ASSES.

Most of those liars, would post almost identical rants. They'd call the show, a "typical wholesome sitcom", when nothing could be further from the truth.

First of all, it's NOT a sitcom. It was a drama with tons of dark, and sometimes raunchy humor.

Secondly, many episodes ended on a somewhat dark note.

Lorelai, was full of flaws.

I'm NOT going to say I loved everything about the show, because I didn't. I found some things irritating - especially, during the last few seasons, but I saw it through to the end.

The characters were three-dimensional human beings, and what's wrong with being human?.....

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


When I was a kid, I saw Stella Stevens in an old issue of PLAYBOY, and I was hooked!

PLAYBOY was always full of pretentious bullshit, but at least back then, the women were REAL and genuinely beautiful.

That rag is nothing now. In fact, I think they stopped publishing twelve issues per year.

THE NUTTY PROFESSOR was my first cinematic encounter with Stella Stevens. She looks so adorable in this film.

I can't say that I remember much about the movie. I liked Don Knotts a million times more than Jerry Lewis, so that probably influenced my opinion.

Anyway, THE NUTTY PROFESSOR was released on region one DVD by PARAMOUNT.

Don't forget, Ms. Stevens also appears in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. I had a lot of fun watching that flick. She portrays an ex-hooker that's married to a cop ( played by Ernest Borgnine ).

It's been a long time since I've seen THE BALLAD OF CABLE HOGUE, so I don't remember much, except for Ms. Steven's cute posterior. She co-stars with Jason Robards.

Ms. Stevens looked great as a cowgirl. Hell, she looked great playing almost anything!

This movie was released as a solo disc by WARNER BROS.

It was also released as part of a four movie pack called SAM PECKINPAH'S THE LEGENDARY WESTERN COLLECTION ( also by WARNER BROS ).

I loved the MATT HELM series of films. THE SILENCERS was my favorite, because of Ms. Stevens.

I never liked James Bond, so I was really happy when MATT HELM appeared. I also liked the FLINT flicks.

THE SILENCERS was released as a solo disc by SONY ( and to be released again via IMAGE ENT ).

You can also find THE SILENCERS in a MATT HELM four movie pack. It's called THE MATT HELM LOUNGE ( by SONY ).

LAS VEGAS LADY is about a cool caper in a hot town. Stella Stevens looks really hot in this movie, and I'm not saying that because of the weather.

Las Vegas has changed a lot since I was young. Most casinos used to turn a blind eye to underaged gamblers like myself - unless you won over a certain amount. But, that's a subject for a different blog.

LAS VEGAS LADY was released on region one DVD by RHINO ( as a solo disc ).

Then it was released on region one DVD by BCI ( in a double feature called WELCOME TO THE GRINDHOUSE - paired with POLICEWOMEN ).

It was also released on region one DVD by MILL CREEK ( as part of a 12 film set called BIG SCREEN BOMBSHELLS ).

Monday, August 19, 2013


It's a lot of fun watching Claudia Jennings and Jocelyn Jones behaving badly in THE GREAT TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE.

This movie is full of wild shenanigans. However, there's also one genuinely dark moment.

SHOUT! FACTORY released this movie on region one DVD. It's part of a triple feature called ROGER CORMAN'S ACTION PACKED COLLECTION.

Ms. Jennings has a very small part in THE STEPMOTHER. This movie has an unintentionally funny death scene, involving a rooftop, Larry Linville, and Alejandro Rey.


TRUCK STOP WOMEN and UNHOLY ROLLERS are two of my youthful favorites.

As I write this, neither film has been released on legit region one DVD. I've only seen grey-market discs for sale ( from a company called J4HI ).

FYI: Apparently, Claudia Jennings performed in an OFF-BROADWAY play called DARK OF THE MOON.

Thursday, August 15, 2013


I guess my fears about this film have been proven correct... It is indeed a GLORIFIED MADE FOR TV MOVIE.

Gerard Damiano Jr., the son of DEEP THROAT director Gerard Damiano, has written the most honest and knowledgeable review of LOVELACE that exists.

See link below.....

Gerard Damiano Jr.'s review of LOVELACE ( at the RIALTO REPORT website )

Monday, August 12, 2013


I love watching Ms. Welles in exploitation films from the 1960s - movies like CAREER BED and SUBMISSION.

Jennifer Welles in CAREER BED

She also appears in THE GROOVE TUBE ( with Chevy Chase ).

I always thought she would have kicked-ass in daytime soaps, and plays.

When most folks do adult films, there seems to be a scarlet letter, or "taint" automatically attached to them. The same way Harry Reems and others had an x-rated "shadow" follow them, whenever they tried to get so-called "mainstream" work.

The people making adult films in the sixties and seventies were genuine rebels. They really did make history ( at least they did in the United States ).

I feel differently about the folks that did "adult" films from the sixties to the eighties.

They're NOT the same types of individuals that you see in the current crop of adult films.

Most of the folks making adult films today, repulse me.

It's like comparing bona fide actresses and actors to so-called "REALITY" stars.

For a long time, nobody seemed to know what happened to Ms. Welles.

The RIALTO REPORT PODCAST found her, alive and well, and seemingly happy.

The following companies have released her films on region one DVD... VIDEO-X-PIX / DISTRIBPIX, ALTERNATIVE CINEMA, SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO, ALPHA BLUE ARCHIVES, and others.

Friday, August 9, 2013


Once upon a time, the "free" tv channels were afraid that "pay tv" would destroy them.

I still remember some of the tv commercials asking viewers to contact their congressmen and tell them, we didn't want to lose our "free tv".

It must have been similar to the fear most movie studios had in regards to television ( during the boob-tube's early days ).

I also remember that fanatics wanted to censor, and ban, a lot of cable channels. Was somebody pointing a gun to their heads, and forcing them to subscribe to cable tv?!... If you don't like it, DON'T watch it!

Remember all the scrambled channels, and "public access" channels?

Anybody out there remember the early days of HBO, and their preview show hosted by Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara? This preview show was BETTER than most of the movies they aired!

Or how about a movie called THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN? They used to air that flick every chance they got!

I love all the new "free" digital channels. It reminds me of cable tv's early days. You've got channels for almost every taste that exists.

The ladies of AEROBICISE

When the M in MTV stood for music, NOT mierda.....