Saturday, April 23, 2011
TWO MOON JUNCTION
Jake ( Tom the dog )
Unknown ( Max the puppy )
And many others...
April ( Sherilyn Fenn ) is Chad's bride-to-be. She loves sharpening Perry's pencil.
Perry ( Richard Tyson ) is a carnival worker, truck driver, and sex-machine. He's got it bad for April.
Chad ( Martin Hewitt ) is April's soon-to-be hubby and spoiled douche-bag.
Patti-Jean ( Kristy McNichol ) is Perry's bed-buddy. She seems to like beef AND fish ( think about it folks ).
Belle ( Louise Fletcher ) is April's grandmother. She's hot for Sheriff Hawkin's pistol.
Sheriff Earl Hawkins ( Burl Ives ) is the town's moral compass, and Belle's unofficial boyfriend.
Smiley ( Hervé Villechaize ) is the carnival owner. He's also a greedy-merciless-munchkin.
April is supposed to tie-the-knot to a guy named Chad. Does she love the shmuck?... Well, if she does, she's got a funny way of showing it!
Do NOT feel bad for Chad, because he's filthy rich and totally useless.
One day, a traveling carnival comes to April's town.
While at the carnival, she meets Perry and everything changes.
April constantly yells insults at him, and yet, she can't seem to stop fucking him. In fact, everytime Perry gives April an orgasm, she cries. Why?.. It must be guilt. Her heart belongs to Chad, but the rest of her belongs to Perry.
Perry's dog, Tom, is shot to death by one of his carnival co-workers. So he abandons the carnie lifestyle.
Meanwhile, Belle and Sheriff Hawkins try to eliminate Perry for good.
Will April marry Chad?
Will Earl and Belle's malevolent plan succeed?
Will April ever stop crying after each orgasm?
One thing is for certain, April's bush is on fire, and only Perry's hose can extinguish the blaze...
Perry: "April?.. I've known a may and a June, but never an April"
Chad: "You drive me crazy. You do. I'm never sure about you. I never know what you want"
Perry: "Naked... bare ass naked"
April: "You're the cockiest son of a bitch I've ever met in my life"
Patti-Jean: "Fuck you dick-head!"
Patti-Jean: "I bet you got great tits"
Patti-Jean: "It's at moments like this, I can see why guys like women so much"
Patti-Jean: "I don't know where I'm going, but I can't wait to get there"
April: "You hallow manipulative piece of shit!.. Everything you are is between your legs"
April: "Darling.. don't ever take a southern woman for granted"
Belle: "We here in the south, take care of our own. Always have, always will"
Perry: "I said to myself, if she comes here and she's wearing high-heeled shoes, then she's here because she wanted to come"
Perry: "How come you ain't wearing any panties, April, darling?"
Belle: "Passion fades. Believe me, I know"
"Put some tongue in it!"
Company - SONY
Rated - R
Extras - None... not even a trailer!.. the back of the DVD case lists "production notes", but there's none!
Inserts - None
OBTAINED AT - CD Universe
PRICE - $7.39
DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
HELL NO!... This flick is legendary, and I love every cheesy moment!...
In my opinion, blonde hair does not flatter Ms. Fenn.
I want to mention that Perry drives a cool looking vintage Kenworth conventional.
There are two versions of this DVD. One contains both, WIDEscreen and FULLscreen versions of the film. The other only has the FULLscreen version.
Also, the music has been changed on the version I have.
Yes, the FULLscreen version lets you see a little more of Ms. Fenn. However, you can also see more of Richard Tyson. When April dismounts Perry ( Richard Tyson ), "little Richard" makes an appearance. Warning... "little Richard" appears to be extremely happy... Yuck!... ENOUGH SAID!...
FYI: There was some controversy surrounding this movie. To this day, I don't know if it was real, or manufactured controversy.