MOVIE ADS: SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

I am NOT going to say that I have fond memories of this movie, because I don't!

Sitting on the toilet was far more intellectually stimulating to me, than watching this incredibly overrated shit-fest.

The only thing more annoying than this film, was the music! Back then, you couldn't turn the radio on without hearing the mind-numbing songs from this movie ( at least not on the AM dial - FM was still an oasis of quality ).

Here are four things I remember most about watching this movie.

1 - Watching it for FREE ( I NEVER would have paid to see it! ).

2 - The theater food ( it was actually edible! ).

3 - Watching it with a girl I liked, but never saw again.

4 - Seeing Fran Drescher for the very first time ( she's one incredible lady! ).

FYI: TROMA's Lloyd Kaufman worked on this movie.

"Can you dig it?.. I knew that you could".....

HAVE A SAFE NEW YEAR!

IT'S A BUNDYFUL LIFE

For the most part, I like Christmas. Except for the FALSE sentiment and nobility you get from countless television shows, and made for television movies.

One of the few holiday episodes I DO like, is called IT'S A BUNDYFUL LIFE. This is a special holiday episode of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, and it's my favorite.



If the sight of a drunk Marcy, sitting on a photo copier while x-rated photo copies of her nether-regions fly out of the machine, doesn't fill you with joy, then you're hopeless!



And, if the sight of Al Bundy being beaten by a bunch of pissed-off mall-santas, doesn't put the holiday spirit in you, then nothing will!



QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE... Al tells a bunch of kids a heart-warming and profound Christmas story...

"It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no food was a stirring, not even a mouse"

"Stockings were hung round dad's neck like a tie, along with a note, that said, presents or die"

"Children were plotting, all night in their bed, while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head"

"But daddy had money, this year in the bank, then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank"

"All of a sudden, santa appears, a sneer on his face, booze in his beard"

"Santa, I said as he laughed merrily, you do so much for others, do something for me"

"Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, your son is a sneak thief, your daughter's a flooze"

"HO-HO santa said, should I mention your wife?, her hairs like an A bomb, her nails like a knife"

"He climbs up a chimney, that fat piece of dung, he mooned me two times, as he stuck-out his tongue"

"I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee, you're married with children, you'll never be free....."



YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... BUNDY!!!!!

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY!.....

BONNIE'S KIDS

DIRECTOR:
Arthur Marks

WRITER:
Arthur Marks

CAST:
Tiffany Bolling
Robin Mattson
Steve Sandor
Scott Brady
Lenore Stevens
Alex Rocco
Timothy Brown
Leo Gordon
Max Showalter
Sharon Gless



Ellie ( Tiffany Bolling )


Myra ( Robin Mattson )


Larry ( Steve Sandor )


Ben and Diana ( Scott Brady and Lenore Stevens )


Eddy and Digger ( Alex Rocco and Timothy Brown )


Charley ( Leo Gordon )


Ellie and Myra are sisters. They live with their stepfather Charley. He's a vile bastard.

One night, Ellie comes home from work and catches Charley assaulting Myra. So she kills him.

Both of them head to the big city to see their maternal uncle Ben. He gives them food and shelter.

Uncle Ben gives Ellie a special task, that involves half a million dollars.

Ellie and Larry - a private detective her uncle hired - decide to run away with the money.

Unfortunately for them, her uncle's hit men are wise to their plan, and the shit hits the fan.....





QUOTES:
Myra: "What's a matter step daddy?!.. Jealous?.. Afraid there ain't going to be any left for you?!.. You dirty old man!"

Ben: "Every time you tell me not to worry, I begin to worry"

Diana: "Rape me, dear husband... Rape me"

Ellie: "What's a matter, baby?.. Don't you want a little excitement in your life?"

Myra: "You're a dyke, a lesbian, a no-good queer!"





VIDEO INFO:
DVD
WIDEscreen
Color
Region one
Company - GENERAL FILM CORP / DARK SKY
Rated R
Extra #1 - ARTHUR'S KIDS is an interview with Arthur Marks
Extra #2 - trailer
Extra #3 - tv spot 1
Extra #4 - tv spot 2
Extra #5 - tv spot 3
Extra #6 - music cue 1
Extra #7 - music cue 2
Extra #8 - music cue 3
Extra #9 - music cue 4
Extra #10 - music cue 5
Extra #11 - music cue 6
Extra #12 - music cue 7
Extra #13 - music cue 8
Inserts - none



OBTAINED AT - Alternative Cinema

PRICE - $17.99



DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
HELL NO!!!!!...

There's action, backstabbing, coldbloodedness, sleazy behavior, and murder.

I really loved watching this flick when I was a kid, and I still love it.

There have been many good FAUX grindhouse movies in recent years, but nothing beats the real thing!


Watch for an appearance by Sharon Gless, as a waitress. FYI: She was Mr. Marks secretary.


Also Max Showalter ( 1917 – 2000 ), has a small but significant role in this movie. I've never forgotten him, or his trademark laugh.


I loved watching him in NIAGARA, INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN,THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD, LORD LOVE A DUCK, and as the grandfather in SIXTEEN CANDLES.

I don't remember if this movie ever had a legit VHS release.

A region one DVD was released by DARK SKY.



The DARK SKY disc is housed in a transparent case. The cover is printed on both sides. The inside of the cover has a pin-up of Tiffany Bolling.

There are plenty of extras on the DVD.

There's only one thing that bothered me about this disc, some of the topless scenes are cropped. Especially Ms. Bolling's scene at her uncle's office building.

DAGMAR'S HOT PANTS INC POSTER

This poster looks like a page torn from a scrapbook.

I was a kid, the last time I saw this. So I don't remember much about the story. I think the main character was a hooker.

Here's what I do remember, Robert Strauss ( 1913 – 1975 ) appears in this movie.

Mr. Strauss starred opposite Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell in THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH, and opposite Frank Sinatra, Kim Novak, and Darren McGavin in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM.

He also appeared in a TON of other movies, and tv shows.

I don't know which company, if any, released it on VHS.

As far as I know, there is NO legit region one DVD.

FYI: DAGMAR'S HOT PANTS INC is also known as DAGMAR & CO, and as DAGMARS HETA TROSOR.

MOVIE ADS: THE EROTIC MEMOIRS OF A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG

Sorry, I don't remember anything about the story.

I do remember some controversy surrounding this flick, but movie related controversies were common in the 1970s.

I don't remember if it ever had a legit VHS release, but I do remember bootleg tapes being sold at weekend swap-meets.

It's scheduled to be released on DVD by DISTRIBPIX / VIDEO-X-PIX. However, I don't know when.

TERROR Y ENCAJES NEGROS

DIRECTOR:
Luis Alcoriza

WRITERS:
Ramon Obon
Luis Alcoriza

CAST:
Maribel Guardia
Gonzalo Vega
Claudio Obregón
Claudia Guzmán
And many others.....



Isabel ( Maribel Guardia )


Giorgio ( Gonzalo Vega )


Cesar ( Claudio Obregón )


Isabel is young and married to an older man called Giorgio. He's a jealous-paranoid-control-freak. He's also a colossal bully.

Isabel feels suffocated by her marriage. She throws caution to the wind, and starts pushing back.

As it turns out, Isabel's husband is the least of her worries.

Cesar is a seemingly mild-mannered professor that lives in Isabel's apartment building. But appearances are deceiving.

Cesar is controlled by depraved and deadly desires. His craving is consuming him, and forcing him to become more aggressive with each new victim.

One day, Cesar decides to focus his attention on Isabel, and the chase is on. Will he capture her? Will she survive?.....






QUOTES: ( TRANSLATED BY YOURS TRULY )
Isabel: "I feel like I'm in jail!"

Coquis: "I thought you didn't like women"





VIDEO INFO
Online
FULLscreen
Color
Region - Not applicable
Company - INSTITUTO MEXICANO DE CINEMATOGRAFICA
NOT rated
Extras - Not applicable
Inserts - Not applicable
Audio - Mexican version of Spanish







OBTAINED AT - YouTube

PRICE - Free



DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
NO!!!!...

I haven't seen this movie in a long time. It's still fun to watch.

Great work by, Maribel Guardia, Gonzalo Vega, Claudio Obregón, and Claudia Guzmán.

FYI: TERROR Y ENCAJES NEGROS is also known as TERROR AND BLACK LACE.

I don't remember which company sold this on VHS.

It was released on region one DVD by DESERT MOUNTAIN ( out of print ).

SCENES FROM THE GOLDMINE

DIRECTOR:
Marc Rocco

WRITERS:
Danny Eisenberg
John Norvet
Marc Rocco

CAST:
Catherine Mary Stewart
Alex Rocco
Cameron Dye
Steve Railsback
Lisa Blake Richards
Joe Pantoliano
Jewel Shepard
And many others.....



Debi DiAngelo ( Catherine Mary Stewart )


Nathan DiAngelo ( Alex Rocco )


Harry and Niles ( Steve Railsback and Cameron Dye )


Dana ( Jewel Shepard )


Debi is a young aspiring singer / songwriter / musician. She thinks she's independent, but she's not. She gets financial assistance from her wealthy parents.

Her brother Kerry has a self destructive streak, and his deteriorating mental state seems to go unnoticed by everyone.

Debi's roomate, Dana, tells Debi she's pregnant. Debi's father happens to be Dana's boss. Is the baby his?

One day, Debi goes to an audition. The band's manager, Harry, decides to hire her.

Debi and Niles, the lead singer, become romantically involved.

Manny, a big-shot in the music world, makes the band an offer they can't refuse.

Soon afterwards, Manny convinces Niles to dump Harry, and the rest of the band. Did I mention that Harry and Niles are brothers?

Almost immediately, Niles starts taking credit for the songs Debi wrote.

Soon after, Debi discovers Niles true colors, and she goes ballistic. Does she dump him?... NO!... Why?, because her vagina is doing all the thinking!

As it turns out, the band is the least of her worries, as Debi's personal life quickly falls apart.

How will it all end?... You'll have to find out for yourself.






QUOTES:
Manny: "Take your fifteen percent and mind your own business"

Makeup artist: "you know what matters in this life?... the way you look"

Harry: "You're a whore"

Niles: I've seen you looking at that tight little ass, and you're not gettin' any of it"

Debi: "You son-of-a-bitch"



VIDEO INFO
Online
FULLscreen
Color
Region - Not applicable
Company - HEMDALE FILM CORPORATION
Rated R
Extras - Not applicable
Inserts - Not applicable



OBTAINED AT - YouTube

PRICE - Free



DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
No...

Generally speaking, I loath movies about the music industry. but I made an exception for this flick.

Yes, this movie is filled with material we've all seen countless times before. But, that does NOT make it a bad movie. So don't believe most of the bad press you read.

It' too bad they didn't focus the story on Debi and Dana. Why?.. because the parts that involve Debi's family and Dana, were far more interesting that the parts that dealt with the band.

Steve Railsback and Joe Pantoliano don't have much to do.

Jewel Shepard, this woman's real voice is incredibly sultry. Unfortunately, during most of Dana's scenes, she seems to use her air-headed-valley-girl voice. Dana sounds like Ms. Shepard's GARFEILD character.

My two favorite scenes are as follows:

1 - The characters played by Catherine Mary Stewart, Alex Rocco, and Lisa Blake Richards, are coming to terms with Kerry's suicide. There was a lot of truth in that scene, and it felt sincere.



2 - During a scene in their apartment, Jewel Shepard's performance is subdued and realistic. Her character's pain feels genuine. It's too bad her part wasn't bigger, because she finally got to show off her dramatic skills.



Catherine Mary Stewart has got a beautiful singing voice. Yes, she actually sings in this movie.

This is a RARE movie. It was released on VHS by CHARTER ENTERTAINMENT.

AMAZON also released it on VHS, as one of their so-called "exclusives".

There is no legit region one DVD. I've only seen "grey-market" discs for sale.

CHATTERBOX POSTER

I like this poster, but I think they should have used artwork instead of a photo.

Penelope, the main character, has a problem. It seems her vagina can talk!

Candice Rialson ( 1951 – 2006 ) was one of my favorite drive-in movie stars.

I don't think CHATTERBOX ever played in any of my local theaters, or drive-ins.
However, it was available on VHS, and it was one of my favorites.

I do not remember which company released it on VHS.

NO legit region one DVD exists. Only grey-market companies like J4HI sell this movie on disc.