Sunday, October 14, 2012

THE GRANNY



DIRECTOR:
Luca Bercovici

WRITERS:
Sam Bernard
Luca Bercovici

CAST:
Stella Stevens
Shannon Whirry
Luca Bercovici
Brant von Hoffman
Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst
Patricia Sturges
Sandy Helberg
Samantha Hendricks
Ryan Bollman
cat ( unknown )
And many others....



Anastasia ( Stella Stevens )


Kelly ( Shannon Whirry )


Namon Ami ( Luca Bercovici )


David, Antoinette, Andrea, and Albert ( Brant von Hoffman, Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst, Patricia Sturges, and Sandy Helberg )


Amy and Junior ( Samantha Hendricks and Ryan Bollman )


Anastasia is an old, ill, and VERY rich widow. She lives in a big mansion with her granddaughter Kelly, who also cares for her.

Anastasia loves watching professional wrestling, but hates her kids and grandchildren. Well, Kelly is an exception to that rule.

Her sons, daughter-in-law, and two of her grandkids are a bunch of callous backstabbers that want Anastasia to die as soon as possible.

Did I mention that David and Antoinette - his niece - are having an affair?

They're a wholesome and fun-loving family.. ha-ha-ha.

Anyway, Anastasia gets a magic potion from a mysterious man named Namon Ami. This elixir, will give her eternal life. But, in order for it to work, she has to follow some rules. Of course, she breaks those rules.

In addition, David puts poison in her soup. A short time later, Anastasia eats her dinner and dies.

Soon after, her family receives their inheritance, and they all think their troubles are over.

Will Anastasia come back from the dead, and get revenge?... Of course!

Who will survive?.. You'll have to find out for yourself.





QUOTES
Possessed girl: "Put your head between my legs and lick me, I promise I have no teeth down there"

Anastasia: "For me, beauty is having a healthy bowel movement once a day"

Junior: "Mom?.. Do I have to kiss granny?.. cause she's so disgusting"

Anastasia: "The last time I felt anything like love from this family, it turned out to be gas"

Anastasia: "You!.. You're a load I shoulda swallowed!"

Kelly: "I HATE YOU ALL!"





VIDEO INFO
Online
FULLscreen
Color
Region - Not applicable
Company - WARNER VISION / TAPESTRY
Rated R
Extras - Not applicable
Inserts - Not applicable





OBTAINED AT - YouTube
PRICE - Free





DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
HELL NOOOOOO!!!!!...

I love every foulmouthed, severed limb, vile-fluid-gushing, boob-n-butt-baring minute of THE GRANNY!

It's been years, since the last time I saw this movie.

Gather-up a bunch of folks, grab some drinks, and call the pizza man, or preferably a gorgeous bikini wearing pizza woman... Hey, I can dream, can't I?...

Anyway, watch it with someone you love, or like, or hate... Hell, you can even watch it with your imaginary friends. If you think about it, this is the best scenario. Why?... because you wouldn't have to spend money on them. Anyway, just watch the movie!

A BIG salute to Luca Bercovici, Sam Bernard, Stella Stevens, Shannon Whirry and everybody else. Great job by everyone in front AND behind the camera!

THE GRANNY has shades of THE EXORCIST, RE-ANIMATOR, and THE EVIL DEAD. That's a GOOD thing!

The VHS is somewhat rare, and I don't know which company released it.

As of this writing, there is still NO legit region one DVD! So once again, your only choice is a "grey market" disc.

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