Wednesday, January 26, 2011
David Charles Dleischer
Jonathan ( Michael Caine ) is Annie's husband and loving father to Lizzie. Jonathan is very passionate about his job.
Annie ( Andrea Marcovicci ) is Jonathan's callous wife. She's also Lizzie's mom. She has the charisma of arsenic. Annie wants Bill the yoga instructor to teach her as many positions as possible.
Lizzie ( Mara Hobel ) is Jonathan and Annie's confused daughter.
Stella ( Ammie McEnroe ) is a slacker college coed. She loves having Jonathan dip his pen in her inkwell.
Brain ( Bruce McGill ) is a alcohol lovin pig. Stella makes 'little-Brain' very excited.
Bill ( Nicholas Hormann ) is Annie's yoga instructor. Bill is a metrosexual douche-bag. The only thing he wants to do is get his hands on arsenic Annie's ass.
Doctress ( Viveca Lindfors ) is the person that interrogates Jonathan.
Jonathan loves his wife very much, unfortunately for him, she feels differently. Oh well, he still has his career and his daughter, or so he thinks....
Jonathan is in a car being driven by his self-centered wife Annie. They pick up a discussion that ended a short time ago. Annie is determined to move into a New York City fuck-nest, sorry I mean loft. Now she suggests that Jonathan stay in Vermont while she and Lizzie move to the big-apple. This starts a heated debate between them. Annie starts driving like a homicidal / suicidal maniac and ends up getting into an accident that costs Jonathan his right hand and his career. What a BITCH!
A while later Jonathan is getting an experimental mechanical hand that looks like it belongs to the orginal TERMINATOR. The hand is EXTREMELY powerful. Lets just say he'd better learn to masturbate with his left hand!
Later, Jonathan and Annie are sitting in bed and she still wants to move to New York. Jonathan is in physical and emotional pain becuase of her and all she can do is think about her precious loft! What a CALLOUS BITCH! Does Jonathan kick her betrayful-beaver out of the house? NO! He still loves her.
They move to New York.
Jonathan makes an unannounced visit to Annie's yoga class. While he's there he realizes why she wanted to CUM, sorry I mean come, to New York. Annie and her instructor Bill have unwholesome feelings for each other.
They separate. Jonathan takes a job in Northern California teaching a class at a local college.
He meets Brian a teacher at the college. They become buddies.
One of Jonathan's students drops by his cabin. Lets just say, Stella is definitely going to pass his class.
Meanwhile Jonathan has been having a lot of nightmares about his hand. He talks about it with Brian.
Later on, things start going down hill between Brian, Stella, and Jonathan. The next thing you know Brian and Stella are dead, and Jonathan's ex-hand may be responsible.
Annie comes to California with Lizzie. Jonathan finds out she is going to take Lizzie and move in with Bill. Jonathan goes ballistic. His ex-hand gives Annie's throat a very bad massage. Unfortunately, she doesn't die.
Lizzie calls the cops. They find Jonathan on the garage floor being strangled by one of his current hands. They smell something and find out the odor is coming from the trunk of his car. It's Stella and Brian's dead bodies. Jonathan is arrested.
Jonathan is restrained in a chair and is being interrogated by a female doctor. She tells him that he, not his ex-hand, committed the murders. She thinks she knows it all, but then Jonathan's ex-hand shows up and administers some bad medicine....
Jonathan: "Get out of the way you stupid cow!"
Jonathan: "It was just one of those things; a freak accident"
Bill: "Yoga is not ow. Yoga is ah!"
Jonathan: "No doubt we're all crazy in some ways, believe me, but that doesn't mean we have to go parading out our psychosis to some other psychotic just because he has a white coat and a degree, does it?"
Angry homeless man: "Who do you think you are, anyway? You'll see, you fucking dick! You shit head! Fuck off! Fuck you!"
Stella: "I've seen you with Brian. He's dying to fuck me. I never let him; it drives him crazy"
Brian: "Two weeks shacked up at the beach with 115 pounds of pussy"
Jonathan: "Sounds like a piece of shit, if you ask me!"
Doctor: "Love Jon, love!"
Company - Warner Bros
Extra #1 - Commentary by Oliver Stone
Extra #2 - Theatrical trailer
Inserts - None
OBTAINED AT - Big Lots
PRICE - $3.00
DO I WANT MY MONEY BACK?:
No! It's so much fun! Talk to the hand!... lol